33 Funny domestic quotes

• I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

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  2 months ago

  bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task

• The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

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  2 months ago

  agony, around, chore, cleaning, dish, dishes, doing, domestic, finished, frustration, horror, household, humor, kitchen, only, pot, relatable, surprise, thinking, turn

• ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

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  2 months ago

  another, casual, domestic, domestic life, door, front, home, humor, humorist, i, irony, life, myself, own, say, self-awareness, surprise, unexpected, walk

• Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

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  2 months ago

  bathroom, bring, domestic, domestic life, everyday, everyday humor, family, household, humor, life, lovingly, me, nothing, paper, request, said, toilet, toilet paper

• My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

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  2 months ago

  attitude, behavior, blame, cat, coffee, coffee mug, dare, domestic, domestic life, edge, fault, feline, feline attitude, humor, i, just, kitchen, life, me, mischief, mug, over, pet, pet behavior, put, table

• Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

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  2 months ago

  consequence, domestic, domestic life, doorbell, electrician, electrocution, fixing, got, hear, hearing, hearing thoughts, humor, i, life, mishap, relationship, should, thinking, thoughts, unexpected, unexpected consequence, while

• Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

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  2 months ago

  animal, animal humor, cats, day, domestic, domestic life, every, gratitude, home, house, humor, i, life, live, me, owner, pet, pet owner, thank

• I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

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  2 months ago

  chore, domestic, domestic humor, expression, face, floor, funny expression, funny face, glad, household, household chore, household mess, humor, i, just, laundry, machine, mess, nobody, sock, spot, washing, washing machine

• I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

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  2 months ago

  annoyance, bring, domestic, home, household, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, relationship, shopping, stuff, unnecessary, wait

• The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

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  2 months ago

  balance, domestic, domestic life, home, humor, husband, life, marriage, real, relationships, work, work from home, work husband, work life, work-life balance, working, workplace, workplace humor, worst

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