34 Funny domestic quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

  Commentary:
  When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

  Commentary:
  Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

  Commentary:
  Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

  Commentary:
  When you're on the throne but forgot your crown 👑🚽🤣

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

  Commentary:
  Cats have an MBA in blaming others. Next, they'll demand an apology letter and a spotless résumé. ☕😹

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like the only thing cooking undisturbed tonight will be my patience! 🍳😅👨‍🍳

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

  Commentary:
  Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, I'm just the live-in butler for two tiny fur dictators! 🐾🏡😺"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

  Commentary:
  "When the sock plot twist hits harder than any TV drama! 🧦😱🤣 #LaundrySurprise"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a reason to collect all those rubber chickens and antique spatulas! 🍗👰💍😂"

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