40 Funny eyes quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.
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  2 months ago

  View →: People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.
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  2 months ago

  View →: That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?
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  3 months ago

  View →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.
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  5 months ago

  View →: There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.
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  5 months ago

  View →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!
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  5 months ago

  View →: The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

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