80 Funny fast quotes

• Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

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  46 minutes ago

  brake, car, driving, ever, fast, humor, imaginary, imaginary brake, passenger, press, side, someone, speed

• Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

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  5 hours ago

  coping, coping mechanism, cry, emotional, emotional release, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, lot, mechanism, needs, parking, parking lot, release, therapy

• “A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

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  18 hours ago

  after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout

• I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

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  19 hours ago

  acceptable, angry, ball, choose, everyone, fast, fast internet, gone, hot, humor, i, internet, night, nocturnal, norms, quiet, shut, silence, sky, social, social norms, socially, sun, understand, why

• As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

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  20 hours ago

  age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise

• The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

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  20 hours ago

  basic, comical, cost, costs, dining, fact, fast, fast food, food, humor, inflation, meal, price, restaurant

• My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

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  20 hours ago

  fast, fast food, food, humor, McRib, parasite, podcast, starting, tapeworm

• If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

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  20 hours ago

  accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work

• WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

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  6 days ago

  duration, fast, happen, humor, last, life, rest, sleep, through, war, WW3

• I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

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  1 week ago

  fast, humor, i, joke, just, night, observation, show, sky, stand, standing, star, stars, surprise

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