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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Going viral on Discord:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Making waves on Slack:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

148 Funny feeling quotes

More funny feeling quotes 👇

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

1 week ago

addiction, adrift, entertainment, feeling, feeling adrift, HBO, HBO show, humor, morality, show, spirituality, Sunday, television
Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

1 week ago

age, birthday, feeling, humor, i, lie, little, milestone, reluctance, serious, sounds, turning, year
Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

1 week ago

cool, feel, feeling, humor, irony, smoking, vaping, want
If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

1 week ago

anxiety, distraction, feeling, geopolitics, global, humor, information, internet, little, media, much, phone, relief, remember, scroll, scrolling, smartphone, spend, state, stress, stress relief, time
I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

1 week ago

adult, being, fatigue, feeling, function, functioning, humor, i, just, relatable, tired, tiredness, too
That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

1 week ago

again, blink, blues, feeling, Friday, frustration, humor, lapse, Monday, Monday blues, once, relatable, time, time lapse, weekend, workweek
My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

1 week ago

coffee, feel, feeling, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, morning, motivation, routine, self-awareness, shit, together
Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

1 week ago

affection, being, bit, connection, feeling, feels, little, love, loved, magic, right, romantic, romantic feeling, telepathy, witchcraft
I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

1 week ago

accidentally, dog, dogs, feeling, girl, good, grooming, humor, i, lighthearted, pet, playful, self-deprecating, shampoo, today, used
I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

1 week ago

anxiety, anxious, caffeine, coffee, edge, feeling, humor, i, morning, morning routine, mug, relief, routine, stress, stress relief, take, think

For even more funny feeling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny feeling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

16 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

61 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Trending via Snapchat:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Just landed via TikTok:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Live now on Threads:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Going bananas on WeChat:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Breaking via X:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Live now on Telegram:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Activity Log ✨

148 Funny feeling quotes

More funny feeling quotes 👇

All funny feeling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨