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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Going viral on TikTok:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Spotted on Twitch:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Live now on X:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Spotted on Discord:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

99 Funny forget quotes

More funny forget quotes 👇

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

2 weeks ago

alcohol, double, drink, end, forget, humor, me, memory, relationship, seeing
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

2 weeks ago

apple, cute, day, doctor, forget, fruit, health, humor, joke, relationship
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

2 weeks ago

believe, exercise, fitness, forget, gym, humor, i, irony, procrastination, routine, today, year
I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

2 weeks ago

age, aging, drink, forget, humor, i, just, life, naturally
Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

2 weeks ago

another, click, computer, forget, going, humor, irony, password, put, remember, security, technology, text, thank
Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

2 weeks ago

daily, daily reminder, forget, humor, ly, motivation, positivity, reminder, self-talk, tell, today, yourself
Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

2 weeks ago

came, decision, delivery, eats, finish, food, food delivery, forget, forgot, humor, i, just, notification, order, realization, senses, Uber
Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

2 weeks ago

advice, day, forget, health, humor, irony, least, minutes, sarcasm, sun, vitamins, where
The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

2 weeks ago

dementia, Dre, family, forget, grandfather, humor, irony, memory, watching, worst
I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

2 weeks ago

common, eat, food, forget, humor, i, nothing, people

For even more funny forget quotes, hit next 👇

All funny forget quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

21 shares on Slack this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

90 shares on Messenger this month:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Live now on WeChat:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Spotted on Instagram:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Breaking via TikTok:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Going viral on X:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Making waves on Instagram:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Spotted on Threads:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Activity Log ✨

99 Funny forget quotes

More funny forget quotes 👇

All funny forget quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨