16 funny funny advice quotes - Wordgag ツ

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Feb 2, 2026

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Feb 1, 2026

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Jan 31, 2026

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Jan 31, 2026

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Jan 30, 2026

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Jan 30, 2026

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Jan 30, 2026

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Jan 29, 2026

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Jan 22, 2026

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Jan 22, 2026

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Jan 21, 2026

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Jan 21, 2026

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Jan 21, 2026

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Jan 20, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Jan 19, 2026

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Jan 19, 2026