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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Making waves on Telegram:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Making waves on YouTube:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Spotted on Threads:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Going bananas on Slack:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Just landed via TikTok:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

16 Funny funny advice quotes

Funny funny advice quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom to brighten your day! 😂✨ Whether you need a clever pick-me-up or a hilarious life lesson, these gems serve up laughs and smarts in one bite-sized package. 🎉💡 Get ready to chuckle, reflect, and share the fun with friends—because who says advice has to be serious all the time? 😜📢

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I woke up alive again.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,559

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Seen just now on X:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Spotted on Telegram:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

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