16 Funny funny advice quotes — Wordgag ツ

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

2 months ago2 months ago

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

2 months ago2 months ago

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

2 months ago2 months ago

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

3 months ago3 months ago

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

5 months ago5 months ago

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

5 months ago5 months ago

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Mar 18, 2025Mar 18, 2025

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Mar 18, 2025

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Mar 14, 2025Mar 14, 2025

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Jan 25, 2025

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Jan 24, 2025

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Jan 23, 2025

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Jan 23, 2025

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Jan 23, 2025

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Jan 21, 2025