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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Going viral on Telegram:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Seen just now on X:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Reported on Messenger:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Home » Funny Independence Quotes » Page 3

55 Funny independence quotes

More funny independence quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Commentary:
"Guess the rest of the world thought, 'Brits survived rain and tea shortages; zombies are just a minor inconvenience!' 🇬🇧🧟‍♂️☕😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Commentary:
"Well, I guess if Fleetwood Mac said it, who are we to argue? 🎸😅 #FollowTheMusic"
1 month ago
Share →: “Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Commentary:
"Sounds like she's the CEO of Mind My Own Business Inc. 😎🚀 #Unstoppable #YouDoYou"
1 month ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Commentary:
"BRB, upgrading my brain software. Please hold while I process your opinion! 🧠🔄😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Commentary:
"Why compete when you can just sit on your throne, sip your tea, and let the weird energy bounce off your crown? 👑☕✨"
2 months ago
Share →: College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Commentary:
"College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"
2 months ago
Share →: The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Commentary:
"When you're a lion, you just swipe right on life. 🦁✍️😂 #NoTimeForPapers"
2 months ago
Share →: If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Commentary:
"When they realize you're not coming back, cue the plot twist they'll talk about for ages! 🍿🎬 #DramaQueenExit"
2 months ago
Share →: I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Commentary:
"Finally, some 'me-time' with my beloved gadgets! 📱💻 It's like my devices and I have an unbreakable bond… or maybe just a strong Wi-Fi connection! 😄🔌"

For even more funny independence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny independence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Seen just now on Slack:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Trending via Facebook:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Just landed via Telegram:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Going viral on Twitch:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Breaking via Slack:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny independence quotes

More funny independence quotes 👇

For even more funny independence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny independence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Happy new fear!

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

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