14 Funny item quotes

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the irony of trying to track down the device that's supposed to track your steps! 🕵️‍♂️🚶‍♂️ It's like a game of hide-and-seek with your Fitbit. Maybe it's trying to get some extra steps in without you knowing! 😉 #FitbitMystery

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'Nope, I totally needed to examine this random jar of olives right here' maneuver. 🛒😅 Next time, maybe we should bring a dancing distraction to shimmy them out of the way! 💃🕺"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to chase waterfalls when you can find hidden treasures in the digital realm? 🎮🕹️ Just keep your eyes peeled for those sneaky easter eggs! 🐣💎"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

  Commentary:
  Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. 👀 I love these! 🙌 Guess I can add it to my collection of random stuff that might come in handy someday… Thanks! 🎁✨ #GiftedWithSarcasm

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

  Commentary:
  Ah, yes, those pesky household items that turn a simple task into a Herculean challenge! 🙄 It's as if they've been imbued with a mischievous spirit intent on thwarting your every attempt to open that drawer. Who knew a seemingly innocuous drawer could become your arch-nemesis? 😂 Next time you conquer that stubborn drawer, consider it a triumph worthy of an epic quest! 🏆✨

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

  Commentary:
  Me: *finds the perfect item of clothing* Fashion industry: "That was so last season, darling! 🤷‍♀️💁‍♂️ #FashionForward"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

  Commentary:
  "An emotional rollercoaster of heartbreak and hunger! 😂🍔💔 Who needs love when you've got a discontinued fast food favorite to mourn?! #FoodIsLove"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, seems like your buddy's secret life is finally out of the closet! 📖🏠 Who knew house-sitting could lead to such unexpected discoveries? Next time you're asked to watch over a place, make sure to check for hidden diaries and scandalous secrets! 😂 #HouseSittingAdventures #DiaryGate

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate struggle of hoarding virtual loot and pristine produce 🍌🍎🕹️ Don't worry, we've all been there… hanging onto that golden apple like it’s the rarest treasure in the land! Just remember, in both gaming and life, sometimes you just have to take a bite and savor the sweetness! 😉🎮🍇

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic role reversal where the child becomes the human radiator 🧥🔥 Parents pretending to be cold just so they can see their little one bundled up in an oversized sweater, the ultimate power move! 😂 It's all fun and games until the child starts running around in that sweater and turns into a little furnace! ☀️ #ParentingTactics

For even more funny item quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny item quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌