610 funny know quotes - Page 12 - Wordgag ツ

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Jan 21, 2026

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Jan 21, 2026

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Jan 21, 2026

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Jan 21, 2026

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Jan 21, 2026

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Jan 21, 2026

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Jan 21, 2026

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Jan 21, 2026

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Jan 21, 2026

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Jan 21, 2026

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Jan 21, 2026

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Jan 20, 2026

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Jan 20, 2026

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Jan 20, 2026

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Jan 20, 2026

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Jan 20, 2026

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Jan 20, 2026

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Jan 20, 2026

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Jan 20, 2026

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Jan 20, 2026

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Jan 20, 2026

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Jan 20, 2026

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Jan 20, 2026

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Jan 20, 2026

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Jan 20, 2026

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Jan 20, 2026

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Jan 20, 2026

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Jan 20, 2026

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Jan 20, 2026

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Jan 20, 2026

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Jan 20, 2026

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Jan 20, 2026

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Jan 20, 2026

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Jan 20, 2026

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Jan 20, 2026

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Jan 20, 2026

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Jan 20, 2026

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Jan 20, 2026

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Jan 20, 2026