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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Just shared via X:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Going viral on WeChat:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Just landed via Discord:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Trending via TikTok:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Just shared via Messenger:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Trending via Snapchat:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

118 Funny living quotes

More funny living quotes 👇

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

1 week ago

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man
Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

1 week ago

breakfast, days, dinner, food, freedom, fun, humor, life, lifestyle, live, living, meal, own, terms
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

1 week ago

brothers, buying, entertainment, entertainment industry, evolution, evolve, future, gill, humor, industry, living, matter, Netflix, none, once, start, underwater, warner, Warner Brothers
If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

1 week ago

dystopia, dystopian, future, hell, housekeeping, humor, living, nightmare, robot, technology, where
There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

1 week ago

arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten
Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

1 week ago

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

1 week ago

amount, chore, funny observation, here, household, housemate, humor, i, laundry, live, living, living situation, met, mystery, observation, people, situation, starting, think, wash, washing, week
People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

1 week ago

double, double life, even, here, holding, humor, life, life management, living, management, people, relatability, single, single life, struggle, together
If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

1 week ago

automation, cashier, cashiers, consumer, consumer price, debate, economy, living, living wage, paying, price, prices, retail, self-checkout, wage, wage debate, why
Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

1 week ago

adulting, family, family life, free, free housing, house, housing, humor, independence, life, living, living with parents, parents, pay, sarcasm, soul

For even more funny living quotes, hit next 👇

All funny living quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

58 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I love unplanned fun.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Making waves on X:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Shared recently on Instagram:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Live now on Facebook:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Activity Log ✨

118 Funny living quotes

More funny living quotes 👇

All funny living quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨