92 Funny living quotes — Wordgag ツ

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

2 months ago2 months ago

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

2 months ago2 months ago

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

2 months ago2 months ago

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

2 months ago2 months ago

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

2 months ago2 months ago

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

2 months ago2 months ago

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

2 months ago2 months ago

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

2 months ago2 months ago

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m sick of living through history!

2 months ago2 months ago

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

3 months ago3 months ago

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

3 months ago3 months ago

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

3 months ago3 months ago

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

3 months ago3 months ago

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

3 months ago3 months ago

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

4 months ago4 months ago

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

4 months ago4 months ago

The lion can’t keep living like this.

4 months ago4 months ago

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

4 months ago4 months ago