Funny quotes machine

26 Funny machine quotes

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

1 month ago

Time machine? You mean a clock?

1 month ago

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

1 month ago

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

1 month ago

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

1 month ago

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

3 months ago

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

3 months ago

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

3 months ago

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

3 months ago

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

3 months ago

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

3 months ago

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

3 months ago

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

3 months ago

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

3 months ago

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

3 months ago

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

3 months ago

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

3 months ago

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

3 months ago

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

3 months ago

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

3 months ago