33 Funny perfect quotes

• Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still

• It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  dark, dark room, feeling, feeling insane, focus, health, hobby, humor, indoor, indoor hobby, insane, lying, lying down, mental, mental health, perfect, perfect time, relaxation, room, self-care, time, year

• “Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  actually, dairy, Dairy Queen, drag, drag name, humor, name, perfect, pun, queen, wordplay

• I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  appearance, confidence, Funny, got, growth, hot, humor, i, perfect, personal, personal growth, self, self-confidence, transformation, twenty, ugly

• That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

  ---

  1

  2 months ago

  after, bill, bills, budgeting, expense, finance, humor, i, jean, jeans, left, leftover, little, money, over, pay, perfect, pocket, size

• Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  biting, decades, eating, even, example, experience, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, mistake, perfect, screw, screw up, still, tongue, tongue biting, while

• A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  analogy, balance, challenge, hammock, humor, life, metaphor, perfect, someone, stand, struggle, trying

• Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  20, anniversary, ChatGPT, creative, digital, effort, gift, humor, me, minutes, note, perfect, relationship, romantic, sarcasm, spent, tech, tell, training, try, wife

• Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  angel, arrogance, beautiful, being, confidence, ego, humor, humor quote, me, perfect, sarcasm, self-love, soul, vanity

• Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  clothing, fashion, fit, humor, once, over, pants, perfect, perfectly, style

All funny perfect quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌