Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.