Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Breaking via Instagram:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Trending via Instagram:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Going bananas on Slack:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Just shared via Telegram:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Funny press quotes

Funny press quotes bring a burst of laughter to the serious world of news 📰😂. They highlight the quirky, unexpected, and downright hilarious moments that make headlines unforgettable 🤣✨. Whether it’s a witty comeback or a hilarious typo, these gems prove that even the press can keep us smiling 😜🗞️. Ready to brighten your day with some cheeky media madness? Let’s dive in! 🎉📢

New funny press quotes 👇

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

0

1 month ago

20s, advice, binge, entertainment, going, important, play, press, show, Sopranos, The Sopranos, TV, TV Show, twenty, urge
If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

0

2 months ago

button, buttons, confusion, game, gaming, humor, i, indecision, know, life, press, procrastination, random, random button, right, time, video, video game, where
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

0

2 months ago

away, button, dog, explode, explosion, got, hell, humor, i, joke, just, microchip, pet, press, runs, technology
So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

0

2 months ago

1, call, communication, cultural, cultural difference, difference, English, got, humor, i, language, me, phone, phone call, prank, press, said, telemarketer, told, understand
Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

0

2 months ago

communication, digital, humor, i, impulsive, media, messaging, press, psycho, reaction, read, send, social, social media, sometimes, text, think
The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, before, bench, bench press, exercise, fitness, good, gym, humor, laying, lifting, press, relaxation, right, workout
Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

0

3 months ago

brake, car, driving, ever, fast, humor, imaginary, imaginary brake, passenger, press, side, someone, speed
Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

0

4 months ago

humor, needs, pause, press, relaxation, someone, time, weekend

All funny press quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

40 shares on X this month:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

26 shares on TikTok this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Making waves on Instagram:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Making waves on Threads:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Spotted on Discord:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Making waves on Facebook:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

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