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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Spotted on Telegram:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Spotted on Instagram:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Making waves on TikTok:

January: the Monday of months.

Just shared via Slack:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

201 Funny start quotes

Funny start quotes capture those awkward, hilarious moments when we begin something new! 😅🚀 Whether it’s starting a project and instantly regretting it, or the classic struggle of getting off the couch to start your workout (only to be distracted by snacks), these quotes remind us that every new beginning comes with a dose of comedy. Here’s to those not-so-glamorous “starts”! 😂📅🎉

New funny start quotes 👇

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All funny start quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Telegram this month:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

87 shares on TikTok this month:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

36 shares on Slack this month:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Just landed via TikTok:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Trending via Messenger:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Going viral on Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Freshly posted on X:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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