455 funny think quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag ツ

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Feb 2, 2026

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Feb 2, 2026

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Feb 2, 2026

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Feb 2, 2026Feb 2, 2026

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Feb 2, 2026

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Feb 2, 2026

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Feb 2, 2026

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Feb 2, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Feb 2, 2026

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Feb 2, 2026

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Feb 2, 2026

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Feb 2, 2026

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Feb 2, 2026

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Feb 2, 2026

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Feb 2, 2026

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Feb 2, 2026

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Feb 2, 2026

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Feb 2, 2026

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Feb 2, 2026

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Feb 2, 2026

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Feb 2, 2026

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Feb 2, 2026

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Feb 2, 2026

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Feb 1, 2026

I think my type is a nice person.

Feb 1, 2026

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Feb 1, 2026

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Feb 1, 2026

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Feb 1, 2026

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Feb 1, 2026

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Feb 1, 2026

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Feb 1, 2026

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Feb 1, 2026

I think God was high when he made me.

Feb 1, 2026

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Feb 1, 2026

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Feb 1, 2026

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Feb 1, 2026

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Feb 1, 2026

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Feb 1, 2026

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Feb 1, 2026

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Feb 1, 2026