294 Funny think quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Forget extraterrestrial life — I'm just over here swatting at imaginary UFOs! 👽🦟😂"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

  Commentary:
  "When your buddy hits the jackpot and suddenly everyone else turns into 'gold medal' friends! 🥇🏆🤣 #OlympicLevelDigging"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

  Commentary:
  "He must be talking about my sweet personality! 😂🍦 #DeliciouslyDelusional"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe they should rename it the 'Somewhat United Kingdom'? 😅🤔 #BrexitBanter"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

  Commentary:
  "I knew your nunchuck skills weren't great, but this is a cutting blow! 🥋😂 #SwordUpgradeNeeded"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

  Commentary:
  "Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

  Commentary:
  "Fashion tip: If your outfit requires a helicopter landing pad just to walk to your car, you're probably winning the runway game! 🚁👗😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

  Commentary:
  "When being nice gets mistaken for a love spell… I guess my Hogwarts letter finally came! 🎩✨😉 #KindnessMagic"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like a serious case of 'me deficiency' 😂🥲 Better start your daily dose of ME ASAP! 😎💊"

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