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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Seen just now on Twitch:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Trending via Discord:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Spotted on Slack:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Just shared via Instagram:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Going bananas on Threads:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

109 Funny wait quotes

More funny wait quotes 👇

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

2 months ago

different, doing, doing nothing, fashion, five, humor, i, just, nothing, outfit, outfits, procrastination, relaxation, wait, waiting, week, weekend
Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

2 months ago

actually, contact, contact lens, contacts, eyesight, free, glasses, joke, lens, seeing, surprise, vision, wait
I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

2 months ago

animal, animals, conversation, humor, i, imagination, personality, quirky, reply, stable, talk, wait
I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

2 months ago

back, bed, bedtime, discomfort, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, i, insomnia, relatable, sleep, sore, sore back, terrible, tiredness, wait, wake
When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

2 months ago

adulting, aging, disappointment, frustration, humor, i, life, nostalgia, older, sarcasm, shit, wait, well, young
I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

2 months ago

6, am, around, delay, drive, driving, early, early morning, humor, i, late, leisure, morning, retire, retirement, slow, slow drive, tardiness, wait, work, work delay
Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

2 months ago

anticipation, boring, delivery, excitement, life, online, online shopping, package, parcel, shopping, wait
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

2 months ago

60s, comedy, cultural, cultural reference, drugs, give, history, humor, irony, just, me, nostalgia, realization, reference, satire, should, wait
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

2 months ago

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait
Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

2 months ago

animal, dog, gangsta, humor, patience, pet, poop, wait, waiting

For even more funny wait quotes, hit next 👇

All funny wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

38 shares on Discord this month:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Just landed via WeChat:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Making waves on Facebook:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Going viral on TikTok:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Breaking via X:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Making waves on Reddit:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny wait quotes

More funny wait quotes 👇

All funny wait quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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