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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

50 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Trending via Facebook:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Just landed via Discord:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Making waves on Facebook:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Trending via Discord:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Home » Funny Wants Quotes

27 Funny wants quotes

Funny wants quotes are the perfect way to turn everyday desires into hilarious moments 😂🙌 Whether it’s craving snacks 🍕, daydreaming about vacations 🌴, or just wanting a little extra sleep 😴, these witty lines capture the silly side of our wishes. Get ready to laugh out loud and relate to those quirky wants we all share! 🎉✨

New funny wants quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Commentary:
"Guess he trusts me more than his phone's passcode! 😴🔐📱"
6 days ago
Share →: Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Commentary:
Looks like your nephew has already nailed the adulting trifecta: eat, sleep, and repeat! 🍽️😴👶🏻😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Commentary:
"Want to master humility? Just follow my lead—I'm the best at being humble! 😎🙌 #HumbleBrag"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Commentary:
"BRB, practicing my tuck-and-roll exit for maximum storytelling potential 🏃‍♂️🤣 #TreadmillTales"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Commentary:
"When 'Who's your daddy?' takes a plot twist! 😅🍼 #UnexpectedPositivity"
1 month ago
Share →: The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Commentary:
"When your heart and stomach are in a heated debate over that last slice of pizza. 🍕❤️🤔"
2 months ago
Share →: Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑‍💻📄"
2 months ago
Share →: A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic royal tantrum with a crown and zero chores! 👑🍼 A narcissist craving kingly power but dodging responsibility like a kid hiding from vegetables. Guess they want the throne without the throne-room cleanup! 😂⚖️
3 months ago
Share →: “Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the human struggle: trying to find a balance between listening to your body and not letting it run the show. 🤷‍♂️ Maybe if we all had snackceptional self-control, we'd be napping less and snacking more. 🛌🍪 #SnacksOnTheBrain"

For even more funny wants quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wants quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

50 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Breaking via Reddit:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Just shared via Facebook:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Blink if you want me!

Making waves on TikTok:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Spotted on Facebook:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Going viral on Slack:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Shared recently on Threads:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

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