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procrastination

self-deprecation

Funny quotes weed

Funny weed quotes

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

2 months ago

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

3 months ago

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People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series. - 27 shares on WeChat this week.
My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon. - 18 shares on Messenger this week.
A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries. - 60 shares on Threads this week.
When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - 71 shares on LinkedIn this week.
I prefer my weighted blanket in human form. - 80 shares on Threads this week.

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8,701 funny quotes and pics

11,835 funny quotes topics

Updated: 6 hours ago

Trending Funny Quotes

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted. - 20 folks are currently viewing this quote.
I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. - 5 folks are currently viewing this quote.
There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder. - 11 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time. - 11 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again. - 9 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm self-deprecation sleep social someone technology think time want work

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