Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,049

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Shared recently on Threads:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on X:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Going viral on Discord:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

More funny quotes 👇

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

0

1 month ago

activity, buying, choice, convince, decision, decision making, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, i, impulsive, indulgence, jetski, keep, life, life choice, living, making, me, need, recreational, someone, temptation
I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

0

1 month ago

actually, body, body image, clothing, comfort, exaggeration, fashion, fitting, humor, i, image, much, oversized, oversized T-shirt, size, t-shirt, wear
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

0

1 month ago

back, dark, dark humor, humor, humorist, i, imagination, joke, just, kid, kids, looks, parenting, put, sarcasm, wish
Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

0

1 month ago

crime, crime genre, documentary, entertainment, genre, humor, i, learn, learning, mistakes, sarcastic, true, true crime, watching, witty
I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

0

1 month ago

comedy, expert, humor, i, joke, politics, sarcasm, satire, think, UK, unity
Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

0

1 month ago

90, animal, animal behavior, around, behavior, companionship, daily, daily life, dog, following, humor, life, living, living with pet, mouth, owner, pet, pet owner, watching, wondering
Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

0

1 month ago

body, body language, experiment, gender, humor, language, legs, playful, self-expression, sitting, wide
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

0

1 month ago

awkward, childhood, confidence, ever, freak, girl, grow, humor, i, ID, little, quirky, self-identity, weird
When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

0

1 month ago

activity, bad, bad handwriting, fun, fun activity, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, notes, problem, problem-solving, riddles, self-deprecating, solve, solving, yourself
I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

0

1 month ago

accident, cooking, disaster, eyeball, humor, i, joke, just, kitchen, need, recipe, sarcasm

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

22 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Math is like Chinese to me.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Live now on WeChat:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Going bananas on Threads:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Spotted on TikTok:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨