Home » Funny Alive Quotes

20 Funny alive quotes

Trending Funny Alive Quotes 🔥

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.
Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.
Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.
A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.
Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

New funny alive quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Commentary:
"Why do alarms insist on being so 'alarm'ingly effective? 🌞⏰😂 #StillNotReadyForMonday"
1 month ago
Share →: The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Commentary:
😂🔥 "When even the devil's like, 'Nah, I'm good,' you know you're special! 😈👌 #HellHoudini"
1 month ago
Share →: Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Commentary:
"When your existential crisis takes a coffee break ☕😅 #LivingInDenial"
2 months ago
Share →: I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Commentary:
"I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the horror of trying to hide your TikTok dances from your parents! 💃👨‍👩‍👧🙈"
2 months ago
Share →: What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Commentary:
"Living in the era of failed DIY haircuts and accidental video call mishaps…truly a golden age of embarrassment! 😅🙈 #LivingInAVirtualSitcom"
3 months ago
Share →: It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Commentary:
"Who knew just staying alive would require a monthly subscription fee? 💸💰 Living the expensive life one day at a time!"
4 months ago
Share →: In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"
5 months ago
Share →: All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Commentary:
"Oh, the struggle is real! Who knew something as simple as existing could be so challenging? 🤦‍♂️ Just trying to adult like… 🤷‍♀️ #StrugglesOfLiving"
5 months ago
Share →: In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old medieval times – where building an army was as easy as missing dental appointments! 🏰💀 It seems the only thing more terrifying than battle was the thought of dealing with the plummeting life expectancy rates! 😅 #MedievalProblems
5 months ago
Share →: Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's living life on the five-star lane! 🌟🍿 Who needs critics when you've got an abundance of joy-sparking movies at your fingertips, right? Keep that positivity train rolling, movie buff!"