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19 Funny alive quotes

New funny alive quotes 👇

  • The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

    Commentary:
    😂🔥 “When even the devil’s like, ‘Nah, I’m good,’ you know you’re special! 😈👌 #HellHoudini”

  • Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

    Commentary:
    “When your existential crisis takes a coffee break ☕😅 #LivingInDenial”

  • I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

    Commentary:
    “I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the horror of trying to hide your TikTok dances from your parents! 💃👨‍👩‍👧🙈”

  • What an embarrassing time to be alive.

    Commentary:
    “Living in the era of failed DIY haircuts and accidental video call mishaps…truly a golden age of embarrassment! 😅🙈 #LivingInAVirtualSitcom”

  • It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew just staying alive would require a monthly subscription fee? 💸💰 Living the expensive life one day at a time!”

  • In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the good ol’ 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let’s just say, winning those battles was a real ‘life or death’ situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale”

  • All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the struggle is real! Who knew something as simple as existing could be so challenging? 🤦‍♂️ Just trying to adult like… 🤷‍♀️ #StrugglesOfLiving”

  • In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good old medieval times – where building an army was as easy as missing dental appointments! 🏰💀 It seems the only thing more terrifying than battle was the thought of dealing with the plummeting life expectancy rates! 😅 #MedievalProblems

  • Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone’s living life on the five-star lane! 🌟🍿 Who needs critics when you’ve got an abundance of joy-sparking movies at your fingertips, right? Keep that positivity train rolling, movie buff!”

  • Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

    Commentary:
    🌿💬 “Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive – watch out, they might just be practicing their silent treatment skills! 🌱💁‍♂️ #PlantDrama”

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