33 Funny alive quotes — Wordgag ツ

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

1 day ago1 day ago

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

1 month ago1 month ago

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

2 months ago2 months ago

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

2 months ago2 months ago

I woke up alive again.

2 months ago2 months ago

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

2 months ago2 months ago

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

2 months ago2 months ago

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

2 months ago2 months ago

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

2 months ago2 months ago

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

2 months ago2 months ago

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

2 months ago2 months ago

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

3 months ago3 months ago

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

4 months ago4 months ago

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

4 months ago4 months ago

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

4 months ago4 months ago

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

5 months ago5 months ago

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

5 months ago5 months ago

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Feb 12, 2025Feb 12, 2025