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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

4 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Broadcasted on Slack:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Just shared via YouTube:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Trending via Reddit:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Home » Funny Call Quotes » Page 4

171 Funny call quotes

More funny call quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Commentary:
"When my phone rings, I panic like it's a fire drill… aren't phones just for memes? 📞➡️🙅‍♂️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the ultimate game of intergalactic telephone! 📞👽 'Xenomorph' was just too formal for startle-and-scream introductions! 😂🚀"
2 months ago
Share →: No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Commentary:
"That kid just invented speed dialing… but in reverse! 😂📞🚀"
2 months ago
Share →: Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Commentary:
"Living life like it's a chaotic improv show and calling it 'method acting'! 🎭😜 #VibeGoneWild"
2 months ago
Share →: Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Commentary:
"LOL, taking security to the next level! Talk about a double lock system! 😂🔐 #TrustIssues"
2 months ago
Share →: When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Grocery store commits 'shelf-shifting'! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle"
2 months ago
Share →: Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Commentary:
"Hope Santa's phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta"
2 months ago
Share →: You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Commentary:
"Are you secretly the voice of the automated overlords? 🤖📞😂"
3 months ago
Share →: The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your wife has mastered the art of playing hide and seek with her own phone! 📱😂 Maybe it’s her way of keeping you on your toes—or just testing your detective skills. Either way, teamwork makes the dream work—especially when it involves finding missing phones! 🕵️‍♂️❤️
3 months ago
Share →: The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄

For even more funny call quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

4 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Making waves on TikTok:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Just landed via Slack:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Breaking via Reddit:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Just landed via Twitch:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Just shared via Facebook:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

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