36 Funny control quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Due to foreseen circumstances, well within my control, I will be late.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'foreseen circumstances' strike again! 🤷‍♂️ It's amazing how they always seem to pop up right when we're running late. Looks like we'll just have to blame it on…life's perfectly timed interruptions! ⏰😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

  Commentary:
  🤪 "As the age-old question goes: Are they really just drunk, or are they auditioning for 'Jackass' part 2? 🤔🍻"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to spiral into control is like attempting to nail Jell-O to a wall 🌀🙃. Good luck with that chaotic journey! Maybe start with baby steps, like organizing your sock drawer first 🧦😜."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

  Commentary:
  Putting commas wherever one pleases, marching to the beat of their own punctuation drum. 🥁 Who said grammar couldn't be fun and rebellious? 🤓 Let those commas roam free and assert their comma-nity! 🦄 #CommaCool

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

  Commentary:
  "Watching someone else navigate the computer like it's a jungle gym instead of a straight path is a true test of patience and a delicate dance of self-restraint… 🙈💻 But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? 😂 #TechStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the modern-day struggle of technology versus parenting skills! 🤖👪 It seems like kids these days are the real tech wizards, leaving us parents feeling like we're stuck in the Stone Age. 📱😅 Who knew the tables would turn so drastically? Maybe we should consider giving our kids official IT certifications along with their report cards! 💻👩‍💻👨‍🎓

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

  Commentary:
  "Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs duty-free shopping when you can leave the airport with a new tattoo and a permanent reminder of that impulsive decision? 💉✈️ #TattedTraveler #YoloLayovers"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

  Commentary:
  "Your password is too weak? Just wait until you see my impulse control 😂💪 #AllBarkNoByte"

For even more funny control quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny control quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌