72 Funny die quotes

• I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

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  1 week ago

  die, end, humor, midnight, new, new year, only, staying, staying up, watch, year, year-end

• When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

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  1 week ago

  common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words

• If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

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  1 week ago

  after, afterlife, cremated, cremation, death, die, family, family game night, game, game piece, hourglass, humor, night, nights, participation, piece, put, still

• Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

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  1 week ago

  die, enough, goodnight, humor, know, loyalty, man, men, relationship, rest, sarcasm, woman

• When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

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  1 week ago

  day, death, die, early, hope, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, reason, work

• I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

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  1 week ago

  die, evolve, humor, i, life, motivation, prime

• You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

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  1 week ago

  chore, daily, daily life, die, endless, endless task, household, humor, laundry, life, once, task, week

• Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

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  1 week ago

  alien, alien invasion, apocalypse, before, climate, crisis, die, disaster, end, end of world, extraterrestrial, global, global climate crisis, humor, invasion, irony, little, nuclear, nuclear war, sci-fi, survival, treat, war, world

• When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

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  1 week ago

  ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse

• My plan is to die young as late as possible.

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  1 week ago

  dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young

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