185 Funny eat quotes

• I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

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  1 week ago

  able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks

• Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

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  4 weeks ago

  celebration, early, eat, holiday, humor, idea, leave, once, only, party, people, right, Santa, snack, socializing, tradition, visit, year

• Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

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  4 weeks ago

  caffeine, coffee, cutting, eat, energy, exhaustion, frustration, gun, humor, i, joke, need, sarcasm

• I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

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  1 month ago

  body, daily, daily routine, drink, eat, frustration, hate, having, high, humor, i, maintenance, routine, shower, sleep, stupid

• I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

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  1 month ago

  awkward, awkward moment, cover, eat, eating, hate, humor, i, magazine, magazine cover, me, moment, someone, stare, stares, while

• “We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

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  1 month ago

  after, bad, cheese, dairy, drinks, eat, health, humor, infancy, kale, Karen, let, mango, me, milk, only, peace, pineapple, smoothie, specy

• You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

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  1 month ago

  alone, ancestor, ancestors, dance, dark, darkness, depressed, depression, eat, eating, eating alone, fight, glowing, glowing rectangle, loneliness, meal, meals, rectangle, staring, technology, together, while

• Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

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  2 months ago

  animal, animal behavior, behavior, bird, capable, car, eat, eating, every, front, humor, i, plate, poop, poops, porch, revenge, show, time, wing, wings

• Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

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  2 months ago

  3, actually, coffee, day, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, iced, iced coffee, just, meal, meals, people, still, stress, survival, survive

• Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

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  2 months ago

  advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself

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