130 Funny eat quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.
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  1 month ago

  View →: The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.
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  1 month ago

  View →: “Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Never eat more than you can lift.
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  3 months ago

  View →: When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
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  3 months ago

  View →: My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!
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  3 months ago

  View →: Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

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