Funny quotes eat

122 Funny eat quotes

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Never eat more than you can lift.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025