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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Just landed via Threads:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Seen just now on Threads:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Just shared via Slack:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

74 Funny emotional quotes

More funny emotional quotes 👇

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

1 week ago

backstory, counting, emotional, emotional investment, emotionally, humor, i, invested, investment, need, sheep, sleep, therapy, think, tried
Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

1 week ago

country, country music, crying, emotional, emotional expression, expression, genre, help, humor, little, men, music, music genre, need, sadness
Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

1 week ago

alien, aliens, emotion, emotional, friendship, humor, nostalgia, Pixar, story, thinking, toy, Toy Story
But that was my emotional support daylight.

1 week ago

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support
I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

2 weeks ago

emotional, emotional support, humor, i, octopus, people, pet, shoplift, slap, support, train, training, want
Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

2 weeks ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something
Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

2 weeks ago

apart, being, emotional, emotional struggle, falling, falling apart, feelings, figure, health, hormonal, hormonal sadness, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, seasonal, seasonal sadness, sometimes, struggle, trying, woman
Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

2 weeks ago

cocoon, dragonfly, emotion, emotional, even, expectation, humor, imagination, just, nature, reality, worm
For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

2 weeks ago

celebration, coaster, costume, emotional, fun, going, Halloween, humor, roller, roller coaster
I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

2 weeks ago

chicken, cooking, emotional, emotional support, food, humor, i, oven, pet, roasting, support

For even more funny emotional quotes, hit next 👇

All funny emotional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

72 shares on TikTok this month:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

47 shares on X this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Seen just now on Discord:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Going viral on WeChat:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Breaking via TikTok:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Going bananas on Discord:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Activity Log ✨

74 Funny emotional quotes

More funny emotional quotes 👇

All funny emotional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨