Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

58 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Trending via Snapchat:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Shared recently on Slack:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Just shared via Threads:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Making waves on X:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Spotted on YouTube:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Home » Funny Getting Quotes

181 Funny getting quotes

Funny getting quotes 😂 is like going on a treasure hunt for your sense of humor 🎯. You never know what you’ll find—something side-splitting or maybe just a giggle-inducing gem 🤣. It’s like opening a fortune cookie, but instead of fortunes, it’s a never-ending stream of punchlines and puns. Dive into this comedic adventure and let the laughter roll like a stand-up routine on a Friday night! 🎤🎉

New funny getting quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Commentary:
Guess we should've brought popcorn for this apocalyptic premiere 🍿😅📉
7 days ago
Share →: It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
Feeling fancy while contemplating existential questions with a $19 burger 😎🍔💸
1 week ago
Share →: Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Commentary:
Is it bad that I start practicing my surprised-but-not-really face every time I make plans? ❄️😅🎉
1 week ago
Share →: If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Commentary:
When the stars just can't decide if we're besties or frenemies 🌟🤔😂
1 week ago
Share →: I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂
1 week ago
Share →: You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Commentary:
Looks like the ears have taken over as the new hair hotspots! 🧑‍🦲👂✂️
1 week ago
Share →: The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Commentary:
"Oops, I think I just scrolled back to the dinosaur era. 🦖🗓️ #Vintage"
1 week ago
Share →: Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Commentary:
"Witchcraft: Removed 'thou' broom, added 'thy' algorithm! 🧙‍♀️🤖🔥 #NotAWitchJustTechy"
1 week ago
Share →: This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Commentary:
"Why adult when you can just 'nap-tivate'? 😂✨ #LifeGoals 🛌💤"
1 week ago
Share →: True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Commentary:
"When you answer just one question, you're not dodging bullets—you're running a marathon in a minefield! 🏃‍♂️💥😅"

For even more funny getting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny getting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

58 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Breaking via TikTok:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Just shared via Threads:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Just landed via TikTok:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Going viral on Threads:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴