Funny quotes getting

142 Funny getting quotes

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

2 weeks ago

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

2 weeks ago

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

2 weeks ago

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

2 weeks ago

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

3 weeks ago

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

3 weeks ago

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

3 weeks ago

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

3 weeks ago

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

3 weeks ago

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

1 month ago

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

1 month ago

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

1 month ago

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

1 month ago

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

1 month ago

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

1 month ago

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

1 month ago

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

1 month ago

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

1 month ago

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

2 months ago

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

2 months ago

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

2 months ago

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

2 months ago

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

2 months ago

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

2 months ago

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

2 months ago

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

2 months ago

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

2 months ago

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

3 months ago

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

3 months ago

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

3 months ago