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142 Funny getting quotes

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

2 months ago

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

2 months ago

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

2 months ago

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

2 months ago

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

2 months ago

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

2 months ago

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

2 months ago

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

3 months ago

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

3 months ago

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

3 months ago

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

3 months ago

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

3 months ago

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

3 months ago

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

3 months ago

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

3 months ago

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

3 months ago

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

3 months ago

Everyone is getting idioter.

3 months ago

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

3 months ago

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

3 months ago