106 Funny got quotes

• One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

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  1 week ago

  bra, embarrassment, got, high, humor, humor story, i, intoxication, misunderstanding, shot, situation, social, social situation, story, thought, time

• Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

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  1 week ago

  activity, around, butterfly, butterfly net, chase, chasing, fun, fun activity, got, hr, humor, me, net, work, workplace, workplace humor, zoomy

• I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

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  1 week ago

  card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty

• I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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  1 week ago

  achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

• Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

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  1 week ago

  ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well

• Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

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  1 week ago

  confession, crime, duty, escape, funny situation, got, humor, jury, jury duty, situation, yesterday

• We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

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  1 week ago

  Barbie, culture, environmentalism, got, humor, irony, little, microplastic, microplastics, pop, pop culture, self-reflection, us

• I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

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  2 weeks ago

  black, Black Eyed Peas, eyed, favorite, favorite part, feeling, got, humor, i, i’ve, I’ve Got a Feeling, just, lyric, mazel, Mazel Tov, music, music preference, peas, preference, sarcasm, say, song, tov, where

• Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

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  2 weeks ago

  application, experience, gain, got, humor, i, internship, irony, job, job application, paradox, rejection

• You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

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  3 weeks ago

  ever, got, health, humor, inside, inside joke, joke, jokes, mental, mental health, schizophrenia, self, self-talk, talk, yourself

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