Wordgag ツ

1 month ago
Share →: The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Commentary:
"Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰
2 months ago
Share →: Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Commentary:
"Basically, we're all just jittery meat tornadoes powered by beans! ☕🍌😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Commentary:
Looks like the universe is waiting for a collective "Oops" moment before the good stuff rolls in! 😅🤦‍♂️💡 Maybe we need an epic slapstick reboot to remind everyone what smart looks like. Until then, keep your humor tight and your IQ higher! 😜📈
3 months ago
Share →: I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Commentary:
"Imagine trying to pronounce a fish's name and ending up sounding like a gurgling aquarium filter 🐠🗣️. I bet they have the fanciest underwater monikers like Glubbertonix or Finnevere! 🌊😂"
3 months ago
Share →: The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Commentary:
"Ah, the marvels of the human body – a complex machine that comes with no instruction manual and requires constant TLC! 🤔💪 Just imagine the designer going, 'Let's include random sneezing and a brain that craves both salad and ice cream – that'll keep things interesting!' 😂 #JustHumanThings"
3 months ago
Share →: Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the elusive and rare human manifestation of a headache, talkative, demanding, and ever-present. 🤯💆‍♂️ Beware, approach with caution, and keep aspirin close by at all times!"
4 months ago
Share →: I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Commentary:
"Bigfoot really understood the importance of social distancing way before it was cool. 🦶🌲 Maybe we should take some notes from the legendary recluse and avoid the drama of human interaction. 😂 #BigfootWisdom"
4 months ago
Share →: There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the talent of being able to hit all the wrong nerves with surgical precision! It's like listening to a symphony of frustration played by a maestro of annoyance. Bravo, dear irritants, bravo!"
4 months ago
Share →: If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Commentary:
"If only biscuits had the power to sculpt abs and provide essential nutrients, we’d all be lining up for the biscuit diet plan faster than you can say 'pass the butter'. But alas, the struggle for a beach-ready body continues, while we console ourselves with the knowledge that at least biscuits will always be here for us in our times of need (and cravings)."
4 months ago
Share →: Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Commentary:
"Well, I guess this person is ready to trade in their human problems for eight tentacles worth of multitasking skills! Who needs arms when you can have tentacles, right? Watch out, world, here comes the future octopus graduate – just be sure to give them a hand… or eight!"