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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

17,807 funny quotes topics

Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

25 Funny humorist quotes

Funny humorist quotes 😂 are the perfect way to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone! Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist on everyday life, these witty gems 💡 will have you grinning from ear to ear. Ready to add some humor 🎉 and sparkle ✨ to your feed? Dive in and let the chuckles begin!

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026Feb 24, 2026

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026Feb 25, 2026

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I used to have a great future in my past.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

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