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12 Funny impossible quotes

  • Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

    Commentary:
    Ah, trying to please everyone is like trying to juggle water – impossible! But hey, if you want to make everyone angry, just breathe – it’s as easy as baking a cake!

  • Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the classic strategy of relying on the universe to align itself perfectly to solve all your problems. 🤷‍♂️ Just sit back, sip some tea, and wait for that impossible sequence of events to sweep you off your feet. Who needs a plan when you have cosmic chaos on your side? 🌌✨ #JustTrustTheUniverse”

  • Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

    Commentary:
    “Warning: attempting to drink coffee while horizontal may result in a spill-tacular disaster! ☕️🤦‍♂️ It’s a dangerous game of balancing act with your morning brew – the struggle is real, folks! 😄 #CoffeeFail”

  • The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

    Commentary:
    Ah, yes, those pesky household items that turn a simple task into a Herculean challenge! 🙄 It’s as if they’ve been imbued with a mischievous spirit intent on thwarting your every attempt to open that drawer. Who knew a seemingly innocuous drawer could become your arch-nemesis? 😂 Next time you conquer that stubborn drawer, consider it a triumph worthy of an epic quest! 🏆✨

  • Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It’s like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜‍♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who’s not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way

  • Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

    Commentary:
    “Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter miraculously reuniting with her hat and gloves 🧢🧤 after a school day. It’s like they embark on their own adventures! 🚀😂 #ParentingStruggles”

  • Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

    Commentary:
    🕵️‍♂️🎬 “Plot twist: Mission Impossible: Really Really Impossible Edition! Watch as Tom Cruise takes on the ultimate challenge – a mission so impossible, even Ethan Hunt himself is like ‘Wait, what?!’ 😱 Will he succeed or will he finally meet his match? Coming soon to theaters near you… or maybe not, because, you know, it’s impossible.” 🤣 #MissionImpLOLs

  • My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your dog is really leading the way in setting high standards for welcome home parties! 🐶🏆 Maybe take some notes from your fluffy life coach and step up your greeting game! 😄👏”

  • Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

    Commentary:
    “Shoutout to those 60-second authentication codes for turning my everyday life into a high-stakes espionage thriller 🕵️‍♂️💥 Who knew typing in numbers could be so exhilarating? Feeling like a secret agent in my own backyard! 🏡🔒 #LifeOfACodeCracker”

  • I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

    Commentary:
    Oh, the struggles of parenting! 🤪📅 It’s like trying to solve a riddle every time they ask, right? Time becomes a mere concept when you have little ones around. Just tell them it’s “Today” and leave it at that! 😂 #ParentingProblems

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