25 Funny leaving quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we have a real hoodie perfectionist here! Priorities, right? 🤷‍♂️ Can't conquer the day until those strings are on point! 💁‍♀️ #HoodieGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the golden rule with a modern twist: 'Treat people how you want to be treated… by avoiding them entirely!' 🏠😄 Who knew social distancing could be considered good manners too?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not going is the new leaving early.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of ghosting social events without actually ghosting… Not going is the new leaving early 🕒👻. Why make a grand exit when you can simply make a stealthy non-entrance? 🚪🏃‍♂️ #MasterOfAvoidance"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

  Commentary:
  "Joining a group chat is like getting a ticket to a chaotic rollercoaster ride 🎢, but leaving two weeks later is like gracefully bowing out of a wild party before the cops show up 🚓. It's all about timing, my friends!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

  Commentary:
  "Oops! Looks like I've left my trusty sword of connectivity at home today. 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that facing the day without our phones would be as nerve-wracking as facing a dragon without a sword? 🐉⚔️ Stay brave, fellow modern-day knights, and may we all survive this epic quest of forgetfulness!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

  Commentary:
  When the lecturer calls for the unheard voices, my soul's immediate reaction is to stage a grand escape! 👻💨 It's like a dramatic exit scene from a blockbuster movie – except instead of a hero, it's me dodging that spotlight like a ninja. 😂 #GhostModeActivated

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

  Commentary:
  Looks like while they were busy debating the future of the nation, someone decided to secure a sweet victory of their own… 🍰🏃‍♂️ Who knew dessert could be the ultimate distraction tactic! #CakeNinja

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

  Commentary:
  "Kids acting all surprised about ants in my car 🐜🤷‍♂️ Like they didn't just casually drop snack crumbs everywhere like they're marking their territory! Hansel and Gretel would be proud 😂🍞 #CrumbTrailChronicles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

  Commentary:
  "Who would have thought that social distancing could become a walk down memory lane? Childhood punishments turned hobbies – talk about a blast from the past! 🏠😷 #TheUnintentionalThrowback"

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