Funny letter quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

  Commentary:
  Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the precious seconds saved by The Weeknd every time he skips that extra 'e'! 💸 Maybe we should all start dropping vowels to boost efficiency! 😂 #TimeIsMoney"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

  Commentary:
  "Indeed, the 'i' right smack in the center of 'hurricane' seems to indicate it's all about 'me, myself, and I' causing chaos! 🌪️🤣"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list 🎅🏼✨ #SantaKnowsBest"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this year's Christmas letter is going for that 'behind the scenes' experience! 🎅🎥 Who needs Jingle Bells when you have colons to serenade you? 🎄💩 #TMIChristmasSpecial"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

  Commentary:
  "Trying to woo a job like 💌❤️: Dear Hiring Manager, your company is the one I've been dreaming of since I was a little résumé. 🤣🧡 #jobsearchwoes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

  Commentary:
  "Dealing with mail is like picking out a diamond in a pile of trash! 😂💎 Don't forget to respond to that one piece or you might end up in a 'mail'ing cell! 📬🚓"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

  Commentary:
  "I mean, who needs a job when you can ride a pony on a funky space rainbow, am I right? 🦄🌈 Don't worry, unicorns and rainbows are way cooler than a boring old cover letter! 💌✨ #DreamJobGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

  Commentary:
  Well, they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, a court order 💌🚫🤣 Hopefully, Jude Law's response will be worth framing! 🖼️ #StalkerFanGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone found the most polite way to skip a social event! 💁‍♂️✉️ It's like saying, "Sorry I couldn't make it, but I'm totally on board with the whole funeral thing!" 😄 #SendingGoodVibesFromADistance

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