59 Funny lot quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mighty power within us all – we can conquer mountains, slay dragons, but heaven forbid we sit through a symphony of chewing! 🙉🍽️ #SelectiveSuperpowers"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs accurate facts when you've got confidence, right? 🤖😂 Just call me Artificially Incorrect! 🤣"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a crystal ball when you have a tree outside someone's house to spy on them? 🌳👀 Nothing says 'neighborhood watch' quite like branching out into investigative tree work! 🕵️‍♂️ #TreePeeper"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

  Commentary:
  "Adulting is like a twisted game of Monopoly – except instead of collecting $100, you're suddenly drowning in $1000 debt 🎲💸 #TheRealBoardGameOfLife"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

  Commentary:
  "If liars' pants caught on fire, I bet the weather segment would be really hot 🔥👖😂 #FakeNewsFirestorm"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic mix-up between being a 'bawler' and a 'baller'! 😂 It takes real talent to excel at crying instead of shooting hoops. 🏀💦 Just remember, tears can be just as competitive as basketball – especially during dramatic movie scenes! 😭

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

  Commentary:
  "An adult spelling bee? 🐝 That's a real test of maturity and vocabulary skills! Who knew misspelling 'embarrassment' could be so humbling? 😅 #SpellingChampNervous"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

  Commentary:
  Wow, looks like someone's unexpected feelings took a detour from the original itinerary! 🙈💕 Who knew detours could be so delightful? 😂 #UnexpectedLoveStops

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