2018 Funny me quotes

• Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

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  5 months ago

  adult, delegation, humor, me, procrastination, responsibility, stuff, today, wants

• I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

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  5 months ago

  dialogue, head, humor, internal, internal dialogue, me, much, self, self-doubt, starting, think, voice

• Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

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  5 months ago

  animal, animals, closing, everyone, having, humiliating, humiliation, humor, hungry, i, knows, link, me, sunburn, survival, unprepared, weakness, wilderness

• “Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

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  5 months ago

  anything, boo, cheer, doctrine, goated, humor, me, mean, morty, nothing, rick, Rick and Morty, seen, us

• Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

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  5 months ago

  communication, forget, humor, i, insult, me, media, post, posts, read, reading, sarcasm, social, social media, wish

• Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

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  5 months ago

  adult, being, excuse, humor, me, note, procrastination, responsibility, responsible, someone

• The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

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  5 months ago

  alternate, alternate reality, awkward, awkward feeling, daydream, feeling, humor, i, imagination, me, reality, sexual, sexual tension, tension

• Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

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  5 months ago

  airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted

• The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

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  5 months ago

  comparison, difference, humor, i, joke, me, need, super, super vision, superman, supervision, vision, wordplay

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

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  5 months ago

  attitude, eating, hate, here, humor, imagine, indulgence, jar, just, me, Nutella, over, snack, spoon

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