353 Funny motivation quotes

• Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

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  4 weeks ago

  forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being

• Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

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  4 weeks ago

  disappointment, every, Friday, getting, humor, i, life, motivation, plans, procrastination, self-improvement, together, weekend

• Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

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  4 weeks ago

  am, doing, done, going, humor, i, just, keep, literally, motivation, obsession, productivity, self-improvement, stuff, unfortunately, woman

• If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

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  1 month ago

  amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state

• They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

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  1 month ago

  battle, exercise, fitness, getting, getting in shape, gym, half, hard, humor, i, mental, mental battle, motivation, procrastination, say, shape, thought, today, workout

• I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

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  1 month ago

  getting, humor, i, life, motivation, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, stress, together

• I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

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  1 month ago

  apartment, app, clean, cleaning, coming, dating, dating app, deception, girl, hell, hot, hot girl, humor, i, match, motivation, over, prank, pretending, roommate, tell, Tinder

• Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

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  1 month ago

  adulting, call, communication, even, humor, making, motivation, phone, phone call, procrastination, responsibility, want

• Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

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  1 month ago

  after, bottom, career, geologist, hitting, humor, motivation, pun, resume, rock, rock bottom, self-improvement

• The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

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  1 month ago

  balance, bank, call, called, compliment, finance, humor, i, just, me, money, motivation, outstanding, said, today

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