Funny opening quotes

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

  Commentary:
  "Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

  Commentary:
  "Forget polar bears, it's time for 'polaresque' refreshment with a touch of citrus! 🍋🐻❄️"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew vulnerability came with a 'no refunds' policy? 🤷‍♂️😄 Next time, I'll just stick to opening up jars of pickles instead! 😉🥒"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone changed their status from "Open book" to "Top secret confidential files." 🕵️‍♂️ Good luck cracking this code! 🔒💬 #MysteryPersonality

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

  Commentary:
  "Opening up to a woman is like entering the interrogation room with a skilled detective 🔍💬. Beware, even your old embarrassing stories might be brought back to haunt you! 👮‍♀️💭 #ProceedWithCaution"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

  Commentary:
  How about, "May the drinks be with you at Bar Bar Binks, where you can sip on drinks from a galaxy far, far away! 🍻🌌 #StarWarsCantina"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs coffee when you can start your day with a refreshing dose of chaos on the web? 😜☕️ Embrace the madness and let the internet be your morning rollercoaster ride! 🎢💻 #GoodMorningChaos"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Bob was ready to dive into those tortillas with gusto! 🌮😄 Who needs convenience when you have Bob's innovative tearing skills? Maybe he should start a tortilla bag opening masterclass! 🎉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the grand spectacle of the Olympics versus the epic production of waking up! 🎉☀️ Let the games begin – in both cases, may the coffee be strong and the snooze button weak! 😉"

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