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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Just landed via Messenger:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Making waves on WeChat:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Seen just now on Threads:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Going viral on YouTube:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Going viral on Reddit:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Just shared via Messenger:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

18 Funny pool quotes

More funny pool quotes 👇

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

2 weeks ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

2 weeks ago

after, crazy, disaster, even, history, humor, irony, pool, ship, still, think, Titanic, water, year’s
They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

3 weeks ago

broken, broken door, concept, culture, door, funny concept, humor, i, idea, marketing, marketing idea, merchandise, movie, movie merchandise, pool, pool raft, pop, pop culture, raft, should, sold, Titanic
I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

3 weeks ago

blue, creative, creative project, fun, funny idea, garden, Google, Google Maps, home, home improvement, i, idea, improvement, maps, outdoor, outdoor fun, pool, project, spread, tarpaulin, want
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

3 weeks ago

beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home
I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

3 weeks ago

absurdity, activity, end, food, fun, fun activity, humor, i, imagination, mashed, mashed potato, pool, potato, swim, wonder
I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

3 weeks ago

Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

3 weeks ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch

For even more funny pool quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

47 shares on X this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Just landed via Twitch:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Going viral on Instagram:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Making waves on Instagram:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Going viral on Facebook:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Activity Log ✨

18 Funny pool quotes

More funny pool quotes 👇

All funny pool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨