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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

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13,917

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10,975

Updated

52 minutes ago

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3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Making waves on Instagram:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Trending via Twitch:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Just landed via Messenger:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Live now on WeChat:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Reported on Threads:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Live now on Reddit:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Making waves on X:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Breaking via X:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Spotted on YouTube:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

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