56 Funny second quotes

• (pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

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  3 weeks ago

  Bart, family, guys, humor, i, just, kids, man, parenting, second, talk, told, turning, TV, want

• I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

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  1 month ago

  consider, dark, dark web, engine, Google, Google result, humor, i, internet, internet humor, joke, online, online joke, page, result, results, search, search engine, second, web, web page

• I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

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  1 month ago

  behavior, communication, content, done, extra, extra content, humor, i, media, obsession, oh, online, online behavior, second, social, social media, thought, tweet, Tweets, unnecessary

• Eating healthy requires a second job.

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  1 month ago

  diet, eating, healthy, healthy eating, humor, job, lifestyle, money, second, work

• Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

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  2 months ago

  1, away, call, country, home, laptop, left, ms, MS Teams, remote, remote work, say, second, Teams, technology, video, video call, work, work from home

• By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

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  2 months ago

  30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works

• That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

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  2 months ago

  after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave

• I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

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  2 months ago

  aliens, annoyance, glasses, hate, humor, i, insect, invasion, mind, mind trick, outdoor, outside, second, think, trick, unexpected

• If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

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  2 months ago

  another, block, chance, communication, email, getting, humor, i, me, sarcasm, second, second chance, technology

• I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

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  2 months ago

  apple, apples, berry, humor, i, imagination, imagine, just, second, size, wish

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