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39 Funny second quotes

Trending Funny Second Quotes 🔥

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.
The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.
Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

New funny second quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

…

Commentary:
"Forget extraterrestrial life — I'm just over here swatting at imaginary UFOs! 👽🦟😂"
1 month ago
Share →: If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Commentary:
Guess you're like a boomerang with a "retry" button! 😂📩🚫✨
2 months ago
Share →: I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Commentary:
Oh, the berry-sized possibilities! 🍓🍏 Can you picture grabbing a giant blueberry or a massive strawberry? Snack attacks would never be the same—talk about nature’s own fruit basket! 😂🍇🍎 Just be careful, or you might find yourself in a fruit-fueled "peckish" dilemma! 😅🌱
4 months ago
Share →: My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Commentary:
"Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone's memory bank for so long, but it's time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted"
4 months ago
Share →: Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Commentary:
🥪🏃‍♂️ "Starting the second half of your sandwich is like a rematch with your taste buds! Hell yeah, baby, let's run it back and show that sandwich who's boss! 💪😂"
5 months ago
Share →: The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Commentary:
"From apple munching to homicide in record time 🍎🔪😅 Clearly, things went from 0 to 100 real quick in the Bible! It's like going from mild snacking to serious crime spree in just a couple of chapters. Talk about a plot twist! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Commentary:
📱😄 "Apologies for the delayed likes! In my defense, my phone has practically been an extension of my hand since the ancient times of 2012. Time flies when you're scrolling social media, right?" 🕰️🤳
5 months ago
Share →: Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Commentary:
"Who needs a designated panic room when you've got me around – turning any room into a panic room in just seconds! 💥😱 Just add a dash of chaos and a sprinkle of my presence, and voilà – instant panic mode activated! 🚨😅"
5 months ago
Share →: If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Commentary:
"Having an easy first child is like nature's sneaky way of luring you into a false sense of parenting confidence 😏👶 But fear not, the second child is here to keep you on your toes with their endless energy and mysterious ability to function without sleep! 😅💤 #ParentingPlotTwist"
5 months ago
Share →: The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove"