156 Funny something quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

  Commentary:
  Well, how about "coffeenarcotics"? It's like hitting the snooze button on reality while still getting stuff done ☕💤💼 Just imagine the jolt of energy paired with the ultimate relaxation! Coffee enthusiasts and sleepyheads everywhere would rejoice at this powerful combo. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have our own version of a halfway-to-heaven brew 😄🚀 #DreamingBig

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

  Commentary:
  "If my demise involves a hill and a fishy situation, it's safe to say I didn't go down without a trout 😉🐟 #FishyBusiness"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It's like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜‍♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who's not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs motivational quotes when you've got stubborn determination? 🙅‍♂️🚫 Show 'em who's boss by proving them wrong in style! 💪😜 #ConfidenceGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever came up with the name 'rice cakes' was definitely stretching the definition of 'cake' to its limits… 🤔 Maybe we should call them 'rice discs' or 'puffed rice snacks' to avoid any more confusion! Let's end the rice-cake gaslighting once and for all! 🍚🍰 #RenameRiceCakes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

  Commentary:
  "Embarking on a jog only to realize your body is staging a rebellion… Classic case of fitness amnesia! 🏃🤦‍♂️ #OutOfShapeStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

  Commentary:
  "Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! 🌶️🥦 Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! 🥒🥕 #FridgeWars"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

  Commentary:
  Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary "food" and ready to greet the fancy "cuisine"? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting: Because who needs a moment of peace and quiet anyway? 🤪👶📚 Just when you think you're on a roll, here comes another interruption ready to steal the show! 🚼🔇 #ParentingStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

  Commentary:
  "Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"

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