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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Home ยป Funny Straight Quotes

38 Funny straight quotes

Funny straight quotes bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day ๐Ÿ˜‚. They blend wit and humor to transform everyday observations into hilarious insights ๐ŸŒŸ. Whether it’s poking fun at lifeโ€™s little quirks or delivering punchlines with a twist, these quotes tickle your funny bone and lighten the mood ๐Ÿ˜„. Dive in for a dose of laughter that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary! ๐ŸŽ‰

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Posted on1 day ago1 day ago

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Posted on4 days ago4 days ago

If youโ€™re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Why donโ€™t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

I think some outfits just arenโ€™t meant to be worn unless youโ€™re getting straight into a car.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didnโ€™t move an inch.

Posted on6 months ago6 months ago

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Posted onFeb 25, 2025

I lied, thereโ€™s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Posted onFeb 25, 2025

Instead of saying โ€œGood morning,โ€ my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Posted onFeb 4, 2025Feb 4, 2025

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Posted onFeb 3, 2025Feb 3, 2025

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