Commentary:
"Who needs a confetti cannon when you can have the gender intel delivered straight to your inbox? 🎉 No need for pink or blue cupcakes, just spill the beans and let's get on with it! 🎊 #GenderRevealConvenience"

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.
Commentary:
"Oh, the cosmic giggle that must echo through the heavens when we try to impress the big guy with our squeaky ambitions! 🎈😂 Just imagine God chuckling as we float away with our high-pitched dreams! 🤣 #DivineHumor"
Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"
Commentary:
"Who needs drugs when you have a good book high? 📚💊 Just remember, reading may cause a permanent addiction to imagination and knowledge! 😄 #BookwormLife"

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of finally reaching that age where the appropriate response to news of pregnancy isn't just panic and confusion 😅👶 Congratulations on reaching this milestone of adulting where feigning excitement becomes a necessary skill! 🎉"
Commentary:
"If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much. But alas, the circle of battling those pesky ailments never ends! 🔄💊 #HealingWoes"
Commentary:
"Introducing the master of memory lapses and forgetting names faster than a squirrel on caffeine! 🤷♂️💥 Say hello to the Forget-Me-Not King/Queen! 🤣👑 #NameGameStrong"
Commentary:
"Remember, folks, breaking and entering is not the recommended method of getting to know your neighbors 👀🚪🕵️♂️. Stick to a friendly chat over the fence instead! 😅🏡 #NeighborhoodWatch #PersonalSpace"
Commentary:
"Apparently, the stress ball is meant for squishing, not launching! 🤔 Maybe we should stick to deep breaths instead of aiming for accuracy. 😂 #stressmanagementgoneawry"