179 funny travel quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

May 24, 2026

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

May 24, 2026

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

May 24, 2026

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

May 24, 2026

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

May 24, 2026

I’m ready to try another planet.

May 24, 2026

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

May 24, 2026

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

May 24, 2026

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

May 23, 2026

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

May 23, 2026

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

May 23, 2026

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

May 23, 2026

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

May 23, 2026

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

May 23, 2026

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

May 23, 2026

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

May 23, 2026

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

May 23, 2026

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

May 23, 2026

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

May 23, 2026

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

May 23, 2026

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

May 23, 2026

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

May 23, 2026

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

May 23, 2026

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

May 23, 2026

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

May 23, 2026

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

May 23, 2026

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

May 23, 2026

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

May 23, 2026

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

May 23, 2026

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

May 22, 2026

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

May 22, 2026

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

May 22, 2026

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

May 22, 2026

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

May 22, 2026

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

May 22, 2026

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

May 22, 2026

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

May 22, 2026

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

May 22, 2026

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

May 22, 2026

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

May 22, 2026