Funny quotes wear

36 Funny wear quotes

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

4 weeks ago

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

1 month ago

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

2 months ago

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

2 months ago

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

2 months ago

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

2 months ago

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

3 months ago

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

3 months ago

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

3 months ago

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

3 months ago

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

3 months ago

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

3 months ago

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

3 months ago

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

3 months ago

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

3 months ago

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

3 months ago

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

3 months ago

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

3 months ago

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

3 months ago

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

3 months ago

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

3 months ago

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

3 months ago

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

3 months ago

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

3 months ago

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

3 months ago

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

3 months ago

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

3 months ago

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

3 months ago

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

3 months ago

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

3 months ago