11 Funny work humor quotes

• My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

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  20 hours ago

  frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor

• Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

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  2 months ago

  addiction, addiction humor, break, break time, breaks, cook, every, gambling, give, hour, humor, i, job, job break, jobs, minutes, only, parlay, should, smoking, time, why, work, work humor

• You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

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  2 months ago

  attitude, funny attitude, guys, here, humor, humor quote, procrastination, sarcasm, stopped, week, work, work humor

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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  2 months ago

  abandoned, abandoned quarry, boss, evaluation, funny situation, humor, me, meet, meeting, midnight, odd, odd request, performance, performance evaluation, quarry, request, situation, told, unusual, unusual meeting, work, work humor

• Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

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  2 months ago

  bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor

• You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

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  2 months ago

  5, digital, digital etiquette, etiquette, home, humor, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, mouse, moving, never, office, online, online meeting, productivity, remote, remote work, say, screen, screen time, seconds, stop, Teams, time, virtual, virtual office, work, work from home, work humor

• I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

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  2 months ago

  eat, eating, health, health insurance, humor, hunger, hungry, i, insurance, job, joke, salary, work, work humor, workplace

• Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

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  2 months ago

  20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst

• “We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

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  2 months ago

  before, changes, communication, elegant, Friday, hear, humor, problems, solution, solve, work, work humor

• Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

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  2 months ago

  bagel, clock, email, gossip, hour, humor, meeting, office, shit, someone, spent, talking, time, work, work humor

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