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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,066

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Trending via TikTok:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Just landed via Twitch:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Spotted on Instagram:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Trending via Telegram:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Going bananas on X:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Trending via Facebook:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

0

1 month ago

administrative, administrative assistant, application, aspiration, assistant, boy, career, career aspiration, childhood, childhood dream, cover, cover letter, dream, ever, feels, humor, i, job, job application, letter, letters, little, wanted, writing
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

2 weeks ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

0

2 months ago

astrology, blame, blaming, failures, growth, humor, learn, lightheartedness, personal, personal growth, planets, self-help, stop, yourself
Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

0

2 months ago

buffering, confused, confusion, humor, just, lie, most, outage, people, reality, stand, technology, truth, wifi
Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

0

5 months ago

butterfly, crush, delusion, feeling, fun, having, just, literally
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

0

2 months ago

childhood, cicada, funny thought, heat, hot, i, kid, misconception, nature, outside, real, sound, summer, sunshine, thought
Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

0

2 months ago

brag, compliment, cooking, dinner, humor, humor quote, i, interesting, just, kitchen, marriage, relationship, sarcasm, wife
Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

0

2 months ago

door, housefly, humor, i, joke, leaving, low, open, pest, running, thanks
My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

0

4 months ago

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone
It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

0

2 months ago

botched, comedy, crime, documentary, every, humor, investigation, police, story, true, true crime

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

36 shares on X this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

13 shares on Slack this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

62 shares on Threads this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Just landed via Discord:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Breaking via Facebook:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Making waves on Messenger:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Trending via Reddit:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Just landed via Reddit:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨