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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,747

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Going viral on X:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Making waves on X:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Spotted on X:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Spotted on TikTok:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

678 Funny activity quotes

Funny activity quotes turn even the most mundane tasks into sources of comedy! 😄🏃‍♂️ Whether it’s pretending to exercise, over-committing to social events, or simply avoiding the “active” part of your day, these quotes prove that every activity can be hilarious with the right perspective. Who says staying busy can’t be fun? 😂🎉⏳

New funny activity quotes 👇

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

1 week ago

activity, am, away, change, changes, expression, fun, fun activity, i, karaoke, lungs, music, Oasis, person, personal, personal change, singing, slide, song, top
My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

1 week ago

activity, date, dominance, favorite, good, humor, ice, ice skating, me, skating
Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

1 week ago

activity, apology, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jam, late, lateness, music, sorry
Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

1 week ago

80s, 90s, activity, bike, bike ride, childhood, far, i, maybe, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor activity, parent, parents, ride, still, think, wrong
Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

1 week ago

activity, blunt, music, relaxation, self-care, smoking, solo, solo activity
You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

1 week ago

activity, age, cow, drive, driving, fun, fun activity, never, old, past, shout, too
A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

1 week ago

activity, cabin, getaway, hot, hot tub, leisure, log, log cabin, outdoor, outdoor activity, perfect, relaxation, right, sounds, tub, vacation, weekend
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

1 week ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

1 week ago

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today
There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

1 week ago

activity, actually, character, characters, day, friend, friends, humor, meet, should, story, take, work

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

78 shares on Discord this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Seen just now on Slack:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Making waves on Messenger:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Just landed via Telegram:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Just shared via Twitch:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

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