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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via X:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full namesβ€”first and lastβ€”like a government office.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Just landed via Discord:

People in their 20s be like, β€œThis is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Breaking via Threads:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Shared recently on X:

β€œI’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Spotted on Threads:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

672 Funny activity quotes

Funny activity quotes turn even the most mundane tasks into sources of comedy! πŸ˜„πŸƒβ€β™‚οΈ Whether it’s pretending to exercise, over-committing to social events, or simply avoiding the “active” part of your day, these quotes prove that every activity can be hilarious with the right perspective. Who says staying busy can’t be fun? πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‰β³

New funny activity quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

How many of y’all are β€œburn a CD” and β€œlime wire” old?

88 shares on Discord this month:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Called in, β€œI’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It used be called β€œtalking to yourself” but the new term for it is β€œpodcasting”.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How come it’s called β€œthrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,951

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has shared:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Discord:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Making waves on WeChat:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Spotted on Twitch:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Just shared via Slack:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Breaking via TikTok:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

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