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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

55 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Going viral on Discord:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Making waves on Twitch:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Trending via Pinterest:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Just shared via Telegram:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Spotted on YouTube:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Home » Funny Actually Quotes

76 Funny actually quotes

Funny actually quotes 🤣 are the unexpected gems 💎 of humor, turning ordinary moments into bursts of laughter. They catch you off guard with their clever twists and wit, making even the most mundane situations entertaining. Whether you’re in need of a quick mood lift or looking to bring smiles to your day, these quirky quotes are here to tickle your funny bone and brighten up your feed. Get ready for some serious giggles! 😜✨

New funny actually quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Commentary:
Silent treatment: Level 100 achieved! 😂🤐💁‍♀️
5 days ago
Share →: It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Commentary:
Getting older: more "meh" energy, less "why" energy 😂🤷‍♂️✨
5 days ago
Share →: Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Commentary:
When you realize your bookshelf has more TBR than books you've actually read 📚🤔 #BookCollectorInDisguise
6 days ago
Share →: The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Commentary:
Sounds like they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque! 🚀🛸🌌
7 days ago
Share →: Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Commentary:
When your therapist says "find a support pet," and you take it way too literally 😂💍 #ProtectThePrecious
1 week ago
Share →: Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Commentary:
When your dancing skills upgrade from novice to "interpretive genius" by the second drink 🍺🕺😂
1 week ago
Share →: “What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Commentary:
Guess we're in a Hell Groundhog Day! Where's Bill Murray when you need him? 🔄🔥😅
1 week ago
Share →: Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the professional benchwarmers of life! 🛋️🙄 Why do when you can discuss?"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Commentary:
"When you finally defeat the mini-boss only to find out the final boss is immune to emotional vulnerability attacks 🤖💔😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Commentary:
"That's the 'I swear I'm innocent… except that one time' dance! 💃😅🙈"

For even more funny actually quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny actually quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

55 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Seen just now on Slack:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Breaking via X:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Just landed via Twitch:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Reported on Twitch:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Going viral on Facebook:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

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