61 Funny actually quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: “Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?
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  1 month ago

  View →: Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.
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  1 month ago

  View →: They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.
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  1 month ago

  View →: There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.
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  2 months ago

  View →: “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.
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  2 months ago

  View →: If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?
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  3 months ago

  View →: It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.
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  3 months ago

  View →: “You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.
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  4 months ago

  View →: This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.
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  4 months ago

  View →: They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.
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  4 months ago

  View →: As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?
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  4 months ago

  View →: I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.
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  4 months ago

  View →: As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

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