170 Funny actually quotes

• Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

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  45 minutes ago

  actually, cannibal, capture, feeding, food, getting, humor, irony, joke, me, survival, terrifying, thought, unexpected, well

• Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

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  2 hours ago

  actually, answering, answering phone, anxiety, call, Googling, habit, humor, modern, modern habit, number, numbers, phone, phone anxiety, phone number, procrastination, technology

• Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

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  3 hours ago

  actually, coworker, coworkers, humor, office, relationship, workplace, worst

• It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

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  4 hours ago

  actually, behavior, better, cheaper, consumer, consumer behavior, crazy, diamond, diamonds, ethics, grow, humor, irony, people, price, quality, real, real diamond, special, still, suffering, synthetic, synthetic diamond, thanks, thing, value

• Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

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  5 hours ago

  actually, fun, humor, irony, know, real, yearner, yearning

• I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

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  5 hours ago

  acting, actually, am, crazy, credit, enough, humor, i, less, personality, self-awareness

• I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

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  5 hours ago

  actually, check, communication, daily, daily routine, day, digital, digital life, email, emails, every, expectation, going, hope, hopes, humor, i, life, life changing, life-changing news, news, procrastination, routine, someday

• I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

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  7 hours ago

  actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told

• After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

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  8 hours ago

  actually, after, chore, cross, daily, daily life, dish, dishes, experience, household, household task, humor, i, life, list, lot, never, task, to-do, to-do list, washing, washing dish

• It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

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  9 hours ago

  actually, answer, delivery, door, food, Funny, hands, humor, joke, people, pizza, think, visitor

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