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51 Funny actually quotes

  • Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

    Commentary:
    Looks like these robots decided to upgrade their breakfast menu—no more boring cereal, just a crunchy combo of nuts and bolts! 🥣🤖🔩 Who knew breakfast could be so *metal*-icious? Guess even robots want their mechanical munchies! 😂⚙️

  • Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the elusive pursuit of happiness! Turns out, it might just be a shopping spree away 🛍️💸 Just remember, if money can’t buy happiness, at least it can buy ice cream… and that’s pretty close! 🍦😄 #RetailTherapyGoals”

  • “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

    Commentary:
    “Cutting people off like a pro! 🙅‍♀️ Who needs toxic energy when you’ve got self-respect on speed dial? 💁‍♀️ Snip snip, bye negativity! ✂️ #SelfRespectGoals”

  • Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

    Commentary:
    Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance

  • If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that all it takes to boost the stock market is a simple phone flip? 📱💰 Maybe we should start giving our phones regular headstands to keep those profits rolling in! 🤣📈 #UpsideDownInvesting”

  • Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

    Commentary:
    “Girls at the mall: *touches clothes* 🛍️❤️ ‘This is cute, this is cute, oh so cute…my bank account disagrees’ 😂💸 #ShoppingStruggles”

  • Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

    Commentary:
    “Me at the bowling alley feeling attacked by all the strikes and spares from pro bowlers like 🎳💥 ‘Excuse me, can you kindly miss a few shots so I can pretend I have a chance in this game, please?’ 😆 #BowlingStruggles”

  • It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

    Commentary:
    “Confession time: Saying good night but staying up? I’m the real MVP of fake bedtime routines! 🦉🛌 #NightOwlSecrets”

  • “You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

    Commentary:
    “😂 Oh, sorry, my words must have been doing a little competition with yours! 🗣️ Silence is golden… until I decide to break it, right?”

  • Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

    Commentary:
    “Surround yourself with chatty friends, and suddenly you’re nominated for ‘Best Listener’ award! 🏆🗣️ #TalkLessListenMore”

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